Recently, I had a series of three lovely dates with a man I liked. We connected, shared laughs, and I felt there was potential. Naturally, I wanted to continue seeing him. But after our third date, he shared something that made me pause: he liked me but wanted to see other women while dating me. His reasoning? It takes him six months to choose a paint color, so he’s not ready to make a choice about a partner yet.
I was taken aback. I explained that people aren’t like paint—waiting around to be chosen. When you meet someone with chemistry and shared values, why not hop on the train and see where it goes? If the ride isn’t enjoyable, then you get off. But he didn’t see it that way. For him, dating multiple people at once was a way to keep options open, to keep his freedom. To me, that approach feels like splitting focus and energy—something that prevents true connection.
This moment was a clear warning sign. His reluctance to commit, his need to keep his options open, signals emotional unavailability. It suggests he may be avoiding deeper intimacy or avoiding making a real choice. When someone isn’t willing to focus on one person, it’s often a red flag that they’re not fully emotionally available for a genuine, committed relationship.
In my view, you can’t truly get to know someone when your attention is divided. When you’re dating many people at once, you’re spreading yourself thin, making it impossible to give anyone the depth they deserve. If you’re serious about discovering a genuine connection, you have to focus on one person at a time. Otherwise, you’re just keeping options open instead of building something real.
This isn’t about asking for commitment right away, but about respect and self-worth. A woman who values herself isn’t asking to be an option; she wants to be a priority. She wants someone to focus on her, to see where things can go without distractions. No one wants to be just another choice among many—they want to be the person they’re choosing to build a future with.
I believe that when you meet someone with chemistry and shared values, you should take the leap. Embrace the possibility, invest your energy, and see where the connection leads. If it doesn’t work out, at least you’ll know you gave it your all. Playing the field might seem like a way to protect yourself from disappointment, but it often prevents the depth and authenticity that true connection requires.
Of course, everyone has their own approach to dating. Some may prefer casual or non-exclusive arrangements, and that’s okay if it’s honest and mutual. But for those of us who seek something meaningful, jumping all in on one person—without distraction—is the way to go.
In the end, this experience was a reminder: if someone isn’t willing to focus solely on you, that’s a clear sign they might be emotionally unavailable. Knowing your worth means recognizing these warning signs early. You’re not just an option—you’re a choice. When you find someone who aligns with your values and sparks your chemistry, don’t hesitate. Take the ride, see where it leads, and trust that the right person will see your worth and choose you wholeheartedly.
