The biggest coward is a man who awakens a woman’s love with no intention of loving her. ~ Bob Marley

As the universe would have it, I was introduced to a married man. To my surprise and dismay, the chemistry between us was palpable. Against my better judgment, I allowed myself to fall in love with this man who was completely unavailable to me.

After several months of enjoying the immense highs when we were together and feeling the intense lows when we weren’t (which was most of the time), I arrived at my breaking point and I ended the heart wrenching, dead end roller coaster ride.

If you are flirting with or already involved with a married man, you may be reveling in the stolen moments of attention and affection when you’re together, but I can say from experience that you’re only setting yourself up for a tragic, ill-fated love story that will wreak havoc on your cherished heart.

Do not settle. You deserve to be with a man who is fully available to love you and will treat you with respect. These married cheaters will only skew your vision of the truth with their lies and deceit; and nothing promising can come out of a situation that is built on a foundation of deceit.

Don’t succumb to the incessant phone calls and text messages. His personal attention may make you feel that he is fully focused on you, but he is using you to get HIS needs met. These men rank high on the spectrum of narcissistic personality disorder.

You may find yourself on an adrenaline high – allured by the mystery and magnetized by the physical attraction. An amazing feeling when you’re together but it’s not going to feel so wonderful when he spends holiday, birthdays, anniversaries and family vacations with the wife and kids. Or when he has to hang up quickly because she walked into the room. Or when he can’t use your real name because you’re a ‘secret’.

He will tell you he loves you and that he’s going to tell the wife about you soon and that he’s going to move out and file for divorce. He will say all the right things, but 99% of the time his actions will not support his  words.

paid_iStock-sexyman_000038874106SmallLadies, should you find yourself in this murky state of affairs here are just a few reasons why you need to RUN, not walk, RUN!

95% of the time the married man has NO intention of ever leaving his wife and will not commit to a future with you. If he really wanted to leave her, he would have already done it.

If he claims he is separated from his wife, but he’s still living with her, he is blatantly disrespecting you, himself and his wife. You can never trust him.

He is cheating on his wife and using you. He will  eventually cheat on you too.

You will quickly come to resent him for having the best of both worlds, when you have the least. He gets a marriage that keeps up his public persona and a steamy affair that provides him what is lacking in his marriage. You get to spend most of your time alone.

Can you truly love someone who is so disrespectful to his wife and family? He would rather lie to her than be a man and officially get out of the relationship respectfully. These men are cowards.

Time is too precious to waste. Don’t spend your valuable time on a dead end affair!

He will always have an excuse to delay ending his marriage. He will ask you to be patient because he can’t afford to split up the finances right now, expenses are too costly to move out, and he doesn’t want to deal with the guilt of breaking up the family.

He will tell you what you want to hear in order to keep you on his hook for his personal gain. You’re kidding yourself if you think he will keep any of his promises.

You are just the mistress, nothing more. His shiny new plaything for the moment.

It takes two to tango; and when you choose to be with a married man, you sabotage  your chance for real love and happiness. It’s important to under- stand why you allowed this type of relationship to develop. Take the time to examine why you didn’t give yourself a fair chance at love.

Married men only lead to a dead end. Invest in someone who is truly available.

 

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A serial dater for 18 years "Single Gal" has seen it all.... the good, the bad, the ugly and the just plain crazy. Along the way I have learned a few things about how to navigate the tricky and often confusing world of dating. When I am not endeavoring to function as a competent dater, "Single Gal" enjoys sharing her entertaining dating stories with anyone who will listen.

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